Tongue-in-Cheek
TongueCheek
Struggle of the Titans

This newspaper told the tale last year of the mighty War between Republicans and Democrats over extending unemployment benefits and paying with magic money.  The clash, spread over months, went to six Senate votes with a single vote deciding the outcome.  The Republican filibuster stood firmly on the principle that counterfeiting by the government is wrong.  The compromise was struck, as the nation stood on the brink, where unemployment benefits and so much, much more was paid for with magic money. 

Lo, the tale of the struggle had just begun!

Energized by victory at the polls, the new Republican majority in the House guaranteed the public they would cut spending all of the way to a balanced budget.  Republicans pledged to take care of the nation's business in a timely and effective way for once.

In April of this year, six months into the fiscal year already, the Republican House bravely passed a 2011 federal budget that slashed $100b from the $1.6t projected deficit, almost 7%.  The Democrats in the House had the courage to offer $7b in spending cuts.  The pain was numbing all around.

KingKong The Senate joined the struggle passing a budget that allowed for as much as $25b in 2011 spending cuts.  It was said by the Republican leader in the Senate the vote was one of the finest moments he could remember in the chamber, an historic achievement.

By early May, with the budget expired and the federal bureaucrats drinking their coffee at home, the Gates of Hell were opening wide.  Some resolution must be reached before the federal behemoth passes out from a lack of oxygen!  The beast is wheezing already!  See!

The panic brought the courageous to heel.  Employing every puff of smoke and mirror in the land our Congress and President came together proclaiming the Nation was saved and the budget would be cut by a full $33b.

And the numbers were not actually that far off.  When the final 2011 budget was stated there was a Republican inspired net spending cut arising from the struggle, $330m.  It was a .002% decrease in the deficit, a full 1% of the claimed spending cuts.  Promises had been kept!

Just wait until the national debt limit must be raised! 

Our faithful minstrels will remain on watch.